Its ironic that the person who makes me feel the worst is my dad - my father, the person who is supposed to care for me, encourage me and make me feel like I am indeed worth something. Instead, he yells at me, insults me and says that i'm 'rotten inside with no redeeming qualities'. and that its no wonder my past relationships didnt work out because ambrose and brinden could see right through me and they saw what a rotten person i am inside? seriously? on the contrary, i thought that i treated them as well as i could. which was kinda stupid of me honestly. and he knows nothing about my past relationships. NOTHING. ZILCH. so what right does he have to pass judgement?

from now on, i'm going to be fucking selfish and place myself above others. we all have to be selfish. "you either kill, or be killed".

Maybe its true. maybe i am a fucked up person inside with no redeeming qualities. people come and go anyway.